5 funny jokes about mountains and tourism

Not all travelers like to spend their vacation at sea. Someone does not know how to swim or simply prefers to walk on foot on the ground, while others cannot imagine their life without movement. We have selected 5 funny anecdotes just about such tourists who dearly love holidays in the mountains and it does not matter which one: whether it is climbing the largest peaks or breathtaking skiing and snowboarding.

A joke about a German, a Frenchman and a Russian

A German, a Frenchman and a Russian climbed Everest. They are standing, admiring the views. The sun rises, illuminating incredible landscapes with its rays. Tired of watching them and then Russian suggests:

- Let's argue? Whose echo lasts the longest, he won.

That's the decision. The German shouted: "Au!" The echo sounded for 5 seconds. It was the Frenchman's turn. He walked to the edge of the cliff and shouted with all his might: "Ohe!" It hummed for 20 seconds.

The Russian shouted: "They give out vodka for free!" Rolling "Where. "Thundered for another half hour.

A joke about novice tourists

A married couple returned from vacation, invited friends to visit to share their impressions.

- Can you imagine, we climbed the mountains, decided to cook stew with pasta. They put a pot, but the fire still didn’t kindle, ”the husband says.“ Oh, well, mountains, there’s not enough oxygen, ”a friend answers him.“ Here! See what smart people are saying! This oxygen was not enough, and you said that firewood was needed! - the wife was indignant.

Joke about the guide

There is an excursion in the mountains of Abkhazia. The instructor leads his group and tells:

- Look at this hill. Here they used to offer sacrifices to pagan gods. And on the right side there is a very dangerous gorge, be careful. But if you do get lost, turn left, there are very beautiful views.

Anecdote about the myths and legends of the mountains

5 funny jokes about mountains and tourism

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A community about photography, where you can read many author's lessons, send your pictures for criticism and just enjoy the work of famous masters.

Memasik is old, but quite vital. I have almost no experience in high-altitude mountaineering, but yes, to drink even just warm water is a thrill. )

Kalitsky Peak

and the Jikaugenkez ice plateau, the source of the Karakaya-Su

Travel Comics

Rapid descent Rope descent

A rappel is a method of descending a fixed rope. What is rappelling for? After passing a multi-pitch route or reaching the top of the mountain, it is not always possible to descend on foot. Most often, the rappel descent technique is used for this. Initially, rappelling meant descent with only the rope itself. But with the advent of new types of equipment, the expression "rappelling" began to be applied to all methods of rappelling.

"The mountains call those whose souls are the same size"

In the video for this post, together with Georgian climbers, we will climb Communism Peak and Korzhenevskaya Peak in the Pamir Mountains, find out what people who go to the mountains think, what songs they sing, understand the philosophy of strong people and admire the beauty of the snow-capped peaks.

With a light hand from the UN, December 11 is International Mountain Day. The appearance of this date is associated with the work of the international community on the rational use of vulnerable ecosystems and, in particular, the sustainable development of the mountainous regions of the planet and the need to provide assistance to their populations. By the way, about 15% of the world's population or more than a billion people live in mountainous regions. The mountains, which occupy almost one fourth of the land surface, are the source of water for all major rivers on earth, and therefore the source of most of the world's fresh water reserves. The mountains keep the memory of the life of people from the earliest times, and therefore represent the richest and very valuable layer of cultural heritage. The protected areas of the mountains are home to unique species of plants and animals, and indeed, mountains are incredible beauty and enormous energy accumulated over millions of years of their existence.

Everyone is taking pictures with pillows, and I am with equipment. There is no strength to watch how she suffers without hiking. and the nasty phone has a timer for only 5 seconds. How she did not hesitate and was not killed in the process, it is not clear.

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1) Spend more time with your loved ones, especially your parents.

2) Videos are acceptable only as support for the main part of the post, vlog reposts from YouTube are deleted.

3) Always try to be polite, believe me - this quality has never done anyone badly.

In general, if you read the internal rules of the community on a site where there are basic rules that you probably have already read, then read at the same time the rules for carrying baggage on Japanese airlines or the rules for the passage of ships through the Bosphorus and Dardanelles

Yes, this is a whole performance! Bravo to tourists who do not give in)))

Our equipment is already out)

And don't. We'll get by with a bedroom.

Tramp Tent? And the photos are great!)

I am far from mountaineering, so I didn't realize it right away)) Respect to the author) very interesting idea)

Gorgeous, run a flash mob)

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I’m walking down the street, suddenly some HUGE black car with dark tinted windows slows down sharply, I don’t understand them, you can clearly see that it’s expensive. From there, a HUGE man flies out, in all appropriate ceremonial attire of those times: with a gold chain of incredible thickness, in a leather jacket and dark glasses. And runs towards me, HUGE arms outstretched wide ... From the open windows of the car, gloomy personalities stare at me indifferently, clearly confirming Lombroso's theory.

I am quietly stupefied and think, what have I done this recently, for which they will obviously deprive me of my life or health.

A man runs up to me ... Hugs me so that my bones are almost cracked, and yells all over the street:

- OLGA VADIMOVNA. It is me! I . Little Arthur, don't you recognize me? Do you remember how we went to Lago-naki in November, when I almost froze, and then almost drowned, and then you almost killed me for being a can of canned fish poured it on your feet? Since then, I am not afraid of anything else in the world. How glad I am to see you! How glad! If not for our hikes, I would never have reached such heights in my life!

In the days of my distant youth, I took children and teenagers on hikes.

Indeed, where would he be now, if not for the harsh school of hiking. A man would be lost in life. Maybe I would become an engineer ... Or a teacher.

The Man with the Backpack: The Story of Evolution

It is not known for certain when the backpack appeared on the man's back. But no one doubts the fact that this happened for the king of Peas, and even during the youth of his great-grandfather. A find, unique in its significance for this issue, was made in 1992 on the territory of the Similaun glacier, which is in the Alps.

Curious anthropologists have unearthed a perfectly preserved corpse of a prehistoric citizen near Innsbruck, entered in the expeditionary register as a "man with a backpack."

In 2019, several video festivals about tourism in Russia were held (Divo Russia, Divo Europe, Divo Asia and Divo Eurasia), in which almost all regions of our country took part. The following videos were recognized as the best, and were included in the TOP-10 in terms of the number of achievements in video competitions and the number of views on various video channels in social media:

1) "Falling in love with Nizhny" (Nizhny Novgorod region) - this video won the team competition Divo of Russia in the resort town of Zelenogradsk and in the final of the festival-competition "Divo Eurasia" in Orenburg, where he won nominations "Presentation of Territories".

Fall in love with Nizhny, Nizhny Novgorod region

2) "Turn on your story" (Yaroslavl region) - this video in 2019 received the Grand Prix of the All-Russian festival-competition "Divo of Russia" and became one of the winners of the "FilmAT" tourist film festival in Warsaw (Poland ).

Play your story, Yaroslavl Region

3) "Sovereign's Road" (Tver Region) - this video in 2019 became one of the winners of the individual competition "Divo of Russia" in the city of Tula and the team competition "Divo of Russia" in the city of Zelenogradsk, Kaliningrad Region. Also, this video won the festival-competition "Divo of Eurasia" in Orenburg and the International Tourist Film Festival "FilmAT" in Warsaw (Poland).

Gosudareva's Road, Tver Region

4) "Yaroslavia. Will remain in your stories" (Yaroslavl region) - this video in 2019 received the Grand Prix of the "Divo of Eurasia" festival-competition in Orenburg.

Yaroslavia. Will remain in your stories, Yaroslavl region

5) "Defense of Taganrog in 1855" (Rostov Region) - this video in 2019 won several first places in the nomination "Event tourism" - at the "Divo of Russia" festival in Tula, "Divo Europe" - in Zelenogradsk and "Divo Eurasia" - in Orenburg.

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Chamonix Village, France

Berchtesgaden National Park Germany

Hike to Mount Semiglavaya in the Krasnodar Territory, Tuapse District

The hike was very interesting, in a couple of hours we went out of the foggy autumn into knee-deep snow, incredibly beautiful views. Foggy landscapes, quite a fantasy look, a river, a coniferous forest, icy graphic branches of trees.

Reply to the post "About expectations and reality"

Greetings from Khabarovsk! I'm not talking about Yakutia, there, at -45, probably not only freezes, but also falls off! Happy New Year!

About expectations and reality

The first time we went hiking at the end of November.

I say Seryoga, they drove to the top. Beauty will probably be indescribable from there.

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Once we walked the route in two parallel groups.

Ice passes, which were previously famously run "with a whistle", turned into crumbly cracks, nature is in a fever, everything around growls, bursts, collapses and rumbles.

We are approaching one big and terrible icefall, meet with parallels and settle down for a day together.

Icefall looks frankly cannibalistic and we decide to go for a fallback. Because it is SCARY.

Everything would be fine, but the head of the parallel group had long-standing psychological "scores" with our group and with me personally.

A kind of secret rivalry with external "curtsies", I don't know where I stepped on his tail, but he constantly dreamed of me "wiping his nose" and showing that he was smarter, stronger and cooler.

Having learned that we refuse to go through the icefall, the head of the parallel was inspired and inflamed with an unquenchable thirst to show everyone that I had broken off, and he was a fine fellow.

They moved to the icefall, and we decided to sit for another day, fix the problems with the tent, hem and patch up.

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