Tourism and Humor

Tourism and Humor

Reflections from Irina (years)

At home, the shower broke, or rather the watering can from it, cracked and broke off the hose. I look at this shower and ask the petty one:

- so can you marry again? Husband will fix it

- so find a bum on the street, wash him, here's your husband. Yes, I recently saw it, in the trash heap, digging in the trash can.

At the Sign of the Gladiator

I am standing in the kitchen, cutting meat, simultaneously brushing off my dear cats. An eight-year-old daughter comes up to me with a question: - Mom, who are you at the sign of the gladiator? I begin to smile, I look around at the cats, at my favorite knife, the length of the blade of which is the same as my forearm, and I answer: - At the sign of the gladiator, daughter, I am Spartacus. And according to the zodiac sign - Virgo.

Barbaric Power

The other day I am doing lessons with my child (almost 7 years old) - preparation for school, calligraphy. Lessons are not enthusiastic, so you have to go for tricks. A contract has been concluded - every day a part of the writing task is done, if it is done well on a draft, it is written in a clean copy and the rest of the time until 21-00 is spent playing. Heroes III HD Edition was selected as a reward. Over time, the child began helping to use magic at the beginning of the round. Click on the booklet, select the spell and cast on the unit that dad will say.

How long, shortly I decided to campaign for the barbarians. We play, we reach the enemy, the child climbs to the mouse and sees that there is no book. Immediately the questions “How to conjure? Why can't you conjure? " I explain that they are barbarians, they don't use magic, they don't need a book, they respect strength.

The child thinks for a while and says in a confident voice:

- Even a barbarian needs a book.

Humor of children's tourism

is the oldest 3D adventure game with full video, audio and touch effects.

- Take this more, take it away and eat it there.

Tourist is one of the most common species of forest and mountain inhabitants.

They are divided into mountain tourists (those who love mountains, but are afraid of heights, which prevents them from becoming climbers) and others (who are afraid of heights so much that they only walk on the plains).

Mountain tourists are those who are looking for a worse winter in the summer "

Don't back down or give up! Search, find and hide!

If rescuers don't find you, archaeologists will find you.

Folk wisdom

Where the infantry will not pass, and the armored train will not rush. A tourist will crawl on his belly and nothing will happen to him!

You need to buy food on a camping trip on a full stomach.

A bicycle trip of the 5th category of difficulty is when you carry the bicycle on yourself during the entire trip.

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This is what I understand proof so proof o_0

Beware of Jewish cats, or English lessons

Somehow my sister and I were brought to Israel - to see the Holy Land, to swim in the three seas, that's all. And there are cats. A lot of cats, that's right everywhere. They run around, bask in the sun, purr. The sister, being moved, decided to stroke one such purr - but she, not tolerating familiarity, instantly put her claws and teeth into play.

Well, the cat was unhooked, the scratches and bites were washed, and they were covered with a plaster. And then the realization came that the cat lives on the street, most likely does not have any vaccinations, and can be a peddler of something extremely unpleasant. We went to the local ambulance - there they gave my sister a lecture about the dangers of communicating with stray animals, scared her for rabies and gave a bunch of injections, easing our insurance by about 1000 euros. It turned out to be a dear cat, yes. So, only the aunt at the reception knew Russian in that ambulance, and the medical staff spoke only English in addition to Hebrew. My sister, besides Russian, speaks only German, so I had to translate.

As a result, after that trip, the sister still has an extract, where, in addition to medical data, it says something like the following: “the patient came to the appointment with her brother, who acted as a translator from English, but was able to understand and follow simple commands. " Signature stamp. Document!

Remembering this story, we always jokingly argue whether, on occasion, this document will pass for an A1 level language certificate :)

Understood the difference

Evgeny Leonov as Travkin about Berlin and abroad (film Thirty three)

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